I had mentioned black bear pix last week, and I thought I should post some pix here of the ones I've seen this season so far. Now black bears are pretty intimidating beasts, but let me just say this-I think I could take one.
Now hear me out, black bears aren't the leviathans that grizzlys are. Black bears only get to be about five feet tall and 200 pounds, and for the most part they are garbage eating punk bitches. OK maybe not, but I literally could go toe-to-toe with a black bear.
Heres the thing, I've been watching an awful lot of ultimate fighting on my tv in skagway and Ive learned some new chokeholds that could easily be applied to a black bear, so I think in grappling match I could survive. Thats the trick is that these bears are so low to the ground if we went to the floor it could be all over. Now if we duked it out that woud be another story. Since I have about the same reach as a black bear all i would need to is to to get inside his punches, maybe warm up the ribs a little and thenwith his ursine guard down land a solid jab to the nose. Bears have incredibly sensitive noses and could be TKO'd easily if pounded em' on the schnaz. But as far as fisticuffs go theres no contest-the bear is wobbly on two feet and could not keep his guard up for long, with a quick jab or even a right hand lead I could chop a bear down like Ali wailing on Foreman.
The only problem there is the set of razor sharp claws bears have. Which leads me to conlude that all I would need is a set of titatnium steel forearm guards kind of like batman has in the recent movie. With those in place I could deflect the slashes and pentrate the bears whirling hurricane of fur and claw and fustigate em!
I have nothing against black bears, but I definitely would make orphans of their cubs if they crossed me.
-E
1 comment:
And so this is how you're bringing home that bear cub of mine.
Post a Comment