Wooh Glacier day!

This is very much a belated post, two weeks old in fact, but I think the occasion is important enough that it demands posting even now. And that occasion was...glaciers chumps! Thats right I had a rare day off earlier this month and had the opportunity to take a free flight over glacier bay! What were you doing that day? Flying for free over gods most beautiful icy creations? I dont think so.

Yeah it was pretty sweet, it was funny too because the pilot played over the speakers all these uppity and inspirational tunes when he wasnt talking. I wont lie, he played alot of enya, it was very uplifting, I felt triumphant-as if I had just survived breast cancer or something. So uplifting in fact I felt like I was about to sail away...sail away sail away sail away

Anyways the scenes pretty amazing here- you can see in the glacier these kinds of dark stripes in the river of ice, those are called moraines. I forgot what they are because I was so caught up in the sights and the enya, but if I were to venture a guess I would say they are the skidmarks of the glacier. While admiring them too I think I spotted the ice demon in the icy crags below!

So after we returned from the flightseeing the glacier extravaganza did not end! In fact I joined Blake, Brian and their repsective Jen's for an epic hike where we got to see more glaciers. I was up to my ass in glaciers! So much cooler than your day in mid july, but then again we already established that. The hike was to the international falls for which we are posed over top of one in the above pic. But the neat thing about the hike is that you followed it up to one pretty waterfall after another until the trail disappeared and there was nothing but rocky terrain leading on up to a far off summit that overlooked some fantastic glaciers---I think one of them was called the davison or maybe it was the cady glacier, wait you know what it was davison because cady was the name of roebrt deniros character on Cape Fear and I just watched that last night. Whew creepy. Cape Fear I mean not the glaciers, they are awesome.

Hear you can see blake trekking up the path, this wasnt even the derned summit this was just the view behind us! If look closely you might be able to see blakes army sweater and the Glock on his belt. That's ol Blake for ya, always ready for the revolution.

And hey look its me and Im at the top of the summit! First one up in fact, and in style with my khakis and brown church shoes (not pictured). It was a ridiculous summit though, we had to hike around these frozen lakes and cross over these snow banks and jump over icy creeks, I was so thirsty too but didnt have water I had to drink glacier water at the top of the hill. It was cold and delicious and I think I got giardia from it, oh well, when you've had one parasite you've had them all.

Anyways that was my glacier day, again I reiterate, cooler than your midjuly day. Anyways Ive got more to come blog wise so stay tuned peeps

E

Wooh America day!

Well I got to spend america day this year in Skagway which was nice. I truly savored the many flavors of bizarre small town jingo patritotic fun. Just to give you a little taste of how skagway shows how great America is , might I say this: what says America more than wiener dogs!

America hell yes!





Now the skagway fourth parade was a little more put together than the parade I saw last year in Eagle Alaska, where the parade was led by kids in their halloween costumes and they threw out cubes of chicken bullion instead of candy. But thats not to say Skagway wasn't packed with great eccentric alaskan charm all its own. And if you thought nothing celebrates old glory better than wiener dogs, it just gets better once the whores come out!

Or how about a crazy old lady on a bicycle? The announcer of the parade announced this lady as being 84 years old to which she maniacally peddled over to the stage and shouted at him that she was only 82

And hey look its brian and hes doing stuff. He got in the parade because of him working for the train, which would explain the sporty train conductors cap he's got on

Or how about a scary indian with a ring through his nose! Wooh USA!

So all and all it was a rockin'g fourth. One of my top ones of all time. Although its going to be hard topping the fourth where we set off those fireworks that made Jill pee her pants and abandon suede in his stroller.

Anyways

E-rok

This is what 39 days without a day off looks like at 5 am

I've been ground up! This work is crushing and mind numbing and especially when you've been working for the last 40 days straight. One of those days was only 2.25 hours but most averaged between 7 and 10 hours with 7 of those days being over 12 hours. Only the first week in june did I work a week under 60 hours (55) and every week after that I did more than 63 hours.

Ive been lucky to actually have a schedule where I got good hours lately but it was gruelling I would do my long day from whitehorse to dawson (12 hours) then a day in tombstone park (8 hrs) and then back whitehorse. This pace is aging me unnaturaly but the money is good, and I can relax a little bit now because im back onto a more easy pace now.

and its been alright so far ive seen some amazing wildlife including an effing wolverine!

Yeah it was a terrifying critter, and at one point I think it looked at me, and when it did it learned all my secrets! Luckily he didnt seem to care and continued gallopng down the tundra all evil likes.

E

White Stripes in YXY!

So one particular day I was rolling off the highway back into the little town of whitehorse, and I was getting ready to drop my peeps off at the hotel, we saw a small stage near the hotel being setup and a crowd a gatherin.' Well I went along dropped off my people and was talking to the 902 in whitehorse (902 is the cool bus business slang for the number two guy who runs the whitehorse division) so anyways 902--john pan says to me "so you know the white stripes?"and I was like does a bear shit in the woods?! But i didnt say it at the time because im not really that on the spot clever...and I guess maybe thats not even a clever thing to say but thats not the point, the point is that the White Stripes were playing just down the street.

OK so the white stripes, huge band right, playing at this moment in the little town of whitehorse the capital city of a territory that has more moose than people. Apparently the band sold out tickets so fast that they decided to do a little free concert before the main one. And I got to go! i dropped my bags parked my coach and went on over. It was awesome, I was only like 10 feet away! It was great too because I remember distinctly buying their album entitled "get behind me satan" last summer in whitehorse around the time i was having whole kerfuflle with beelzebub and here they were again!

But not any harbingers of bad news in fact, quite the opposite, cause it was all in all a fantastic day. Fantastic! So they did a short set and left but it was still amazing they did the song that I dont know the title of it but its the one that plays on the opening credits of Napoleon dynamite with the chorus line that says "...I can tell that we are gonna be friends"

so pretty awesome! In your face Nick

E

How to take down a black bear

I had mentioned black bear pix last week, and I thought I should post some pix here of the ones I've seen this season so far. Now black bears are pretty intimidating beasts, but let me just say this-I think I could take one.

Now hear me out, black bears aren't the leviathans that grizzlys are. Black bears only get to be about five feet tall and 200 pounds, and for the most part they are garbage eating punk bitches. OK maybe not, but I literally could go toe-to-toe with a black bear.

Heres the thing, I've been watching an awful lot of ultimate fighting on my tv in skagway and Ive learned some new chokeholds that could easily be applied to a black bear, so I think in grappling match I could survive. Thats the trick is that these bears are so low to the ground if we went to the floor it could be all over. Now if we duked it out that woud be another story. Since I have about the same reach as a black bear all i would need to is to to get inside his punches, maybe warm up the ribs a little and thenwith his ursine guard down land a solid jab to the nose. Bears have incredibly sensitive noses and could be TKO'd easily if pounded em' on the schnaz. But as far as fisticuffs go theres no contest-the bear is wobbly on two feet and could not keep his guard up for long, with a quick jab or even a right hand lead I could chop a bear down like Ali wailing on Foreman.

The only problem there is the set of razor sharp claws bears have. Which leads me to conlude that all I would need is a set of titatnium steel forearm guards kind of like batman has in the recent movie. With those in place I could deflect the slashes and pentrate the bears whirling hurricane of fur and claw and fustigate em!

I have nothing against black bears, but I definitely would make orphans of their cubs if they crossed me.

-E

Words of Wisdom From Robert W. Service

I was just sharing a fantastic quote with Bob from Robert Service and I thought I might post it here too. For those of you philistines who don't know who Robert Service is, he is the premier poet of the Yukon. A scotsman and wandering poet hobo who ended up famous for his poems of the gold rush and the north land, heres what Bob Service says about all those high falutin' folks on their high horses who think they're better than ya:

"Dignity is the camouflage of charlatans. What man is dignified with his pants down or in the act of perpetuating his species? Dignified men are hypocrites and frauds. No man who has the honesty to see himself as he really is can be anything but humble. Only fools take themselves seriously..."

Robert W. Service, from Ploughman on the Moon

Back in the Great Land and Sexy as Ever!

So I have returned to the great land and it is with some trepidation. In fact I just recalled that it was this time last year that I had a fairly intense dream with the ol' prince of darkness. Funny story if you hadn't heard it before. Anyways needless to say I havent heard from him this summer, but I am starting to wonder if I did not afterall succumb to another faustian bargain by signing up for another summer working with Holland America Cruise Lines. The souless corporation we lovingly refer to up in these parts as Uncle Hal.

And when I say Uncle, its not goodnatured avuncularity (ask Bob on that word) that makes me, for example, the favorite uncle. No Uncle Hal is the kind of evil Uncle from an Oprah Winfrey book club selection who molests children and gambles the family fortune on cockfights.

Yes, if you're wondering I am a little bitter about this job this season. I guess on the one hand its hard to leave the job you love doing (writing real news stories) to go back to a summer job schmoozing tourists for tips.

All right the upside is that yes this country is still awesome up here. And the money is good, and I am glad to see some old faces. But it is still difficult. Especially getting back into the swing of things. I already scratched the bck of a brand new half a million dollar bus while my boss was on board, and I've also gotten the dreaded morning call from my boss asking me where the hell I was and why was I not picking up people yet. Thats is jsut too much stress in the mornings I tell you.

I am enjoying hanging out with the other drivers though. There are 3 quackenbush's up here this season, and I have been on the highway with Chris Quackenbush this last week, who reminded me that its always a bad move to say to your guests that youve had a "senior moment" when you forget to do something.

I also have met a hilarious mormon kid named wayne who was in italy the same time as luke just in another mission. Me and him are the only bearded drivers out of skagway and we are gonna ride it out as long as we can.

It was funny we had a good moment the other day while we were hanging out at the drivers house Whitehorse (territorial capital of the Yukon) and I asked a group of drivers "hey...you guys ever sit and imagine what it would be like to drive the bus off the road" I was a little nervous but then there was a pause and they all chuckled and said "yeah..." and we talked for at least ten minutes about it.

Anyways Im just figgering this blogworld out, and this first post may be lame but I promise that soon it will easily surpass lukesnerdblog.com Also I got some pics here of me at the top of moose hide slide in Dawson city, and a picture of a perty lake and coming soon black bear pix!

Anyways

E-rok